What is love and how can it lose

Love is all there is.

Every individual will express love differently depending on how they have been programmed through their upbringing and choices. Everything people express is love, even when it finds expression in destructive and hateful behavior. Every individual finds ways to express their own inner understanding of love.

Illusion of separation

We feel them and project them to keep up the illusions of duality and separation, separation from love/God

There are many illusions about other feelings. Humans have become very adept and accustomed to denoting feelings by many different names and associations. Hate, jealousy, happiness, anxiousness, we feel them and project them to keep up the illusions of duality and separation, separation from love/God.

The dynamics of interpersonal relationships are always interesting and the dualities in the human perception and implementation of love are on constant display. William Congreve observed that ‘Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, nor hell a fury like a woman scorned’. How do you manage when life slaps you in the face?

Let’s look at a modern life to understand the chaos love can bring into your life and what to do about it.

An everyday story – the mixed family

Love and control

A bonus child, what a blessing. But hang on, what’s the mum like that you also acquired.

You have just fallen in love with a new man who already has kids with another woman. A bonus child, what a blessing. But hang on, what’s the mum like that you also acquired. You are now involved in a relationship that can destroy you as a human being and you opened the door to any possible allegations that mum seems fit to heap upon you.

In the beginning, everything is fine because she does not know about you yet. This is your window to observe her natural behavior and take note because you need to remember if she later changes. Does she become more hostile, more demanding, craving more of his attention? How does he respond? Is he happy that she is not his partner anymore or is he becoming more secretive?

Subversive tricks to control others

Does he turn his (and your) schedule upside down in five minutes?

Mum can now control your partner and you through the kids. The obvious control mechanism at her disposition is change to care times, preferably on short notice. How does your partner react to that? Does he turn his (and your) schedule upside down in five minutes? Does she trap him with threats along the lines of ‘do as I say or you will not see your kids again’? Does she call on him to come over and help her with trivial things, the car, around the house, etc.; or engage him in drawn out conversations about the kids, preferably at inconvenient times.

People who have lived through such relationships know that the destructive need for control manifests itself in an endless array of control behaviors, everyone you meet have their own stories.

Does he make excuses for her behavior? Watch out for this one, because now he is making you responsible for their relationship.

What are you willing to lose

Open your eyes and make a choice

If you find yourself in such a mixed and dysfunctional relationship, I have one bit of advise for you: In the end, the choices he makes are his and his alone and there is nothing you can do about it. You now have to keep your eyes open about your own choices. Your love cannot save him but in the early stages you can save yourself. You cannot save the relationship, no matter how strong it was in the beginninIf you chose to stay in this relationship, you have to accept that you will get your own programming and ability to express love severely tested. First to go will be your dignity and self-esteem. Watch out if mum sees fit to make allegations of any type of abuse. Evidence is hard to come by in these scenarios and allegations that cannot be proven or denied outright take on a life of their own, with all the usual actors taking their part from child services to the police. You could even end up innocently convicted. Will you get through without resorting to bitterness and hate; or will you work through it and become stronger, centered in yourself and the unconditional love that lets everyone make their own choices without need to judge and condemn.

Do not be naïve and think that this cannot happen to you or someone you care about.

Help friends or yourself

One of the objectives of your current incarnation is to recognize the misapprehensions and illusions that we have inherited and that color our understanding of the world we live in. Chief amongst them is love when defined in contrast to all other feelings.

If you have a friend in this position, please help her cast a cool, critical eye over the situation. Do he, the kids and the ex totally consume her? Beware and be a good friend. Love is blind but an analysis of how control is exercised and responsibility assigned can help open eyes.

While the mixed family of yours, mine and ours is a modern reality and brings hope, love and happiness to many, an abusive and destructive family relationship should not be allowed to install itself in your life through the modality of the mixed family.

Remember…

One of the objectives of your current incarnation is to recognise the misapprehensions and illusions that we have inherited and that color our understanding of the world we live in. Chief amongst them is love when defined in contrast to all other feelings.

Author: Angela

Angela is a Norwegian psychic and healer. She is also a published author and in this blog she shares advise and lessons with the support of her angels and guides.